You may have noticed the absence of my View From Seat 20AÂ columns on this blog. Â The real of it is, that, I had no good travel stories to tell. Â Until 2 weeks ago, that is. Â I hope you enjoy this particularly harrowing travel day of mine, and please COMMENT below with your own travel pet peeves! Â I’d love to hear what annoys you to no end.
Two weeks ago, it must have been rookie traveler day at Newark Liberty.  There’s no other explanation for it.
It started at security.  I’m lucky to have TSA PreCheck, allowing me to whiz past the long line in my own, secluded lane.  I also get to leave my shoes on, my laptop and liquids in their bag, and keep my chunky watch and bangles on my wrist.
The gentleman in front of me, however, was ignorant to these great perks. Â But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Homeboy is rummaging through his bag for his boarding pass (or so I thought).  He finally removes his iPad, and after poking it a few times he finds what he’s looking for.  His boarding pass.  On his iPad.
Folks, just because you can use your iPad as a boarding pass doesn’t mean you should. Â The TSA agent apparently agreed with me, as evidenced by his own expression.
I breeze through with my mobile boarding pass (thank you, United app and Passbook!) and stop. Â Again. Â The same gentleman is doing the usual security routine – removing his jacket, electronic devices, etc.
“Excuse me? Â Sir? Â You don’t have to do all that – you can leave everything in your bag. Â And your jacket and shoes on.”
“Oh, REALLY? Â Oh, I had no idea! Â This is awesome – how great!”
Yeah, I get it dude. Â Now stop talking to me and get through the metal detector.
While he’s still fiddling with this items, I grab my duffel and tote and make my way to Starbucks. Â Ensconced at a table with a water and green tea (Ventis, naturally) and my phone charging up, I breathe. Â And immediately attempt to mooch free WiFi from the United lounge. Â Sadly, it doesn’t work.
Grabbing my belongings, I make my way to the gate. Â Feeling slightly lazier than usual, I opt for the moving walkways (also, my gate is at the very end of the wing). Â I meander to the end of the second walkway, where an older gentleman stands in front of me, dead center in the walkway. Â Someone didn’t get the “stand in right, walk in left” memo. Â No bother – I have time.
He reaches the end – and doesn’t move.  As he tries to get off, the wheels on this suitcase stand stuck on the edge of the walkway.  I walk slower as I approach him…and then start walking backwards, as I reach the end.  And continue to move backwards, for a solid 20 seconds until he dislodges his suitcase.  Seriously.
No more moving walkway for me. Â I opt for the linoleum and make my way to the gate. Â And hope for the rookies to enter the plane well after me.
Sharing time, readers – what do people do in airports that DRIVE you crazy? Â This story is definitely not the worst – that would have to be reserved for the time a kid played Jingle Bells, on his recorder, Â for 20 minutes in a security line. Â Before all this happened. Â I have never wished for death harder than I did that day.
